Strengths as Weaknesses
New adventures, new loves, and new lives are scary. Forever fearful with uneasy hearts, I walk to each date with a hopeful gleam that often dwindles. But I want to continue to see the best in those around me like I usually do. I've been met with so much love among the heartache and hardships of the past year.
If dating has taught me anything, it is that people are wonderful. The complexity and emotional excavation that occurs when exploring the escapades of their inner workings, makes me remember just how special it is to be you. I always find it easy to see the goodness of the pieces and quirks that make someone who they are, but find them a place of improvement in myself. I long to act more like them, look more like them, or be more like them as the age of social media has filled me with both inspiration and envy. His shyness the most endearing trait that makes me smile with every thought, in me is something I always felt I had to overcome. Her kindhearted and unstoppable nurturing nature a weakness and vulnerability in myself. His undeniable passion for what he loves to do, my blinding force from seeing the reality of it all.
I guess I really never noticed it prior to having a career teaching. My empathy conflicted with but constructed my ability to be a great teacher. That quality fueled my drive to better the system by bettering my own class and strive for something different. But it led me to spread myself thin and take the classroom home with me. I think that was the first moment I saw one of my strengths as my weakness.
I know that through every day of self-hate and longing for a different place, I have found a closer me I want to be. Even if it's for the music they share, the memories we have had, the friendship that has endured, dating has shown me the wonders in another and has helped me see that I need to uncover that in me.