If you're anything like me, your self-confidence is the most manic ride at the amusement park. Every morning you wake up is like a draw that will determine how you will feel about yourself that day. Some days we are just not feeling it and that's okay, but not when that becomes a ritual or routine. Sometimes my confidence will scream as if it is combating the weeks of self-doubt and becomes exaggerated in order to survive. I'm the type of person who constantly feels the need to improve. Whether it be in my career, school, projects, passions, or looks, with the limited time, I don't want to feel like it has been wasted.
Recently, I have taken a break. After finishing my program with no real plan in mind, I took some time to recuperate and reflect on what I want to do with my life. Even with life going well, I feel like my confidence has taken a shot. During my program, in the hell of it all, when I was really busy, I felt accomplished. Now that I'm starting back up to work, after two short months, I feel so far away from the person who I know has proven to be good at those things.
I had the same feeling when it came to dating. I had no idea what I was doing at first. The thought of meeting a complete stranger, especially someone from the depths of the internet, spirals a fantasy of chains, kidnappers, and saws or a fetish that is a foot beyond our comfort. I'll admit that I had this mentality at first. I don't know how that mentality didn't forever solidify in my head after my first encounter (The 27 of 2017 Part 3), but I'm glad it never did.
Statistically speaking, there is someone else out there searching for the same thing as you. I'll often quote the guys at Yes Theory, because I strongly stand behind their words, that strangers are just friends you haven't met yet. These dates are just unexplored experiences that you can't imagine in your head until you do it. Worst case, they become your new party stories. Just like in the rest of your life, no matter how much you try and create that scenario in your head, you'll never know how it will play out until you just experience it. And once you do it over and over again, like I did with dating, it'll feel like second nature. Those people online that you've been warned against your entire life will become stories, friends, lovers, and maybe even exactly what you were looking for.
When it comes to overall self-confidence, continuing to work on self-love and saying fuck it to any unrealistic expectations, maybe if we do it enough, it will become easy too.