I've talked a lot about self-esteem and being your biggest believer. The whole song of you only have one life, one self, and if you aren't your own loudest advocate, then who is? The idea of a humble grandiose, a dichotomy between seeing yourself in a charming light while knowing you have limitations, often fluctuates the switches in my mind. We all have those friends, and most often parents, that hold a loudspeaker of praise we need to hear. They incessantly insist that we deserve the best, we are the cutest, smartest, funniest, and kindest, and the most is the exaggerated key to it all. And if you have any siblings, that most is split equally between the two, or n, of you. These declaration of acclamation make us feel in the centre of someone's world, and push us to feel like more than enough, but how far do they needlessly inflate our egos or are they a counteract to our own self-deprecate?
I will walk into a room knowing that I am capable of completing what I need to do. My year's work of learning and practice, completing a task I have been trained to do and I still manage to feel insecure. It's because I always want to do better and feel like I've never reached a place of comfort. That there is something more for me to learn and each opportunity you encounter is a place for growth keeps my roots grounded, but also guarded in an endless tale in a humble place riddled in a rhyme that keeps finding a way to deflect any form of praise.
You have to find a place where you can scream that you are enough and truly believe it, but be humbled enough to say that with time there is much more for you to discover.