Big Cities and Big Dreams
Cities for me are as much of a part of my life and hold the same influence as my friend and family do. The city I live in carries such a weighting on my own personal happiness and I've found that really hard to explain. I grew up in a small city of under forty thousand in an entire province of one hundred and fifty thousand and for some reason, it never felt like a home. I envied others who grew up in a place with an abundance of choice and crowds who flocked the streets. I've been talking a lot about goals recently and that was basically the only goal I ever had that always stayed the same - move to a big city which I defined as being one with a population of over a million.
Like with many things, we often lose appreciation and have to rediscover our own gratitude for certain aspects of our lives. I find that often happens when we are about to lose them. I tried to feel okay with leaving Montreal after working so hard to get myself here and loving every second of being here. I thought it could be a chance to spend more time with family and friends on Prince Edward Island and take a break from the bustle of the goals I set here to rediscover what I wanted. But less than twenty-four hours after stepping off that plane, I knew I had fallen in love with not a person, but a place.
Being apart, I felt its absence. Like the glowing parts of my life and history were put away and would forever be memories. I couldn't stand the thought of it no longer being the focal piece of the stories I shared. So, without a real plan and chasing after dreams bigger than the city itself, I signed my lease for another year here. Being the third year in my apartment, the longest I've ever stayed in one place since moving, the sense of stability was thrilling because everything to come in the year I know will be far from that. And in these past two years, I've walked the streets of the city in the same - in absolute awe for all that it is.